OverviewThe FORUM
is a sharing place for thoughts, feelings, ideas from you and
between you and me, the therapist. This includes, but isn't
limited to, Ponderings-ideas
to stimulate your thoughts and feelings, Ask Dr.
Celia a-a monthly letter created as a response to letters
you write of your loss experiences and concerns, Articles
and Books you have found helpful, and a Message
Board-where your thoughts and reactions to any of these
topics, as well as to the original Articles
by Dr. Celia will be posted.
PonderingsMy
patients have taught me how valuable they have found these
shorthand power concepts. Ideas they have found to be
personally meaningful stay with them and become part of a
guiding inner voice that lives with them. I hope you find
those that speak to you and add meaning to your life. Each
month four new PONDERINGS will be posted for you to meditate
about, deliberate over, to stimulate and, hopefully, to
challenge your thinking and engage your feelings. Previous
months PONDERINGS will be archived. You are invited to post
reactions to the Ponderings on the Message
Board.
This Month's Ponderings
As I write This Month's Ponderings, I'm very aware of wanting to put
down those that might help you deal with the extraordinary changes
in beliefs you have held dear and life as you have known it since
September 11th. It's Important to Realize! - loss and the emotions
connected with grief are NOT just reactions to having experienced a
death. It is triggered by change - "something that WAS, is no
longer the same", and this is intensified when the change has been
involuntarily forced on you. That covers a lot of what we have all
been trying to cope with since September 11. This includes different
beliefs that were held dear, e.g., your power to protect your
children, your belief in your sense of security in your country.
If you can identify your reactions as the pain associated with loss
and grief, then you increase the likelihood of being able to heal,
rather than running the risk of building up defensive walls that
can create more problems in your life. So here they are. I hope
they help.
1. Fears that stay locked up inside, are experienced as if
they have no beginning and no end...they just are!
That increases a feeling of terror. To put limits around these feelings,
to be able to ground them in a reality you can cope with, you have
to take them out of silence and give them sound. SAY THEM OUT LOUD,
no matter what they are, either to yourself or to others.
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a Reply
2. Seeking safety leaves one open to
the threat of chronic danger
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a Reply
3. How to cope with change? It is
to grow.
And growth is the combination of change and constancy.
Change by itself is chaos (such as the immediate reactions to
September 11th). Constancy by itself is rigidity. In growing, you
incorporate the new that you have to deal with - you change it, by
what you bring of yourself to it, and it changes you. It is in this
ever changing balancing that we do continue to grow, even in the
face of great threat.
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a Reply
4. Healing is not compatible with
a microwave approach to life.
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a Reply
Click here
to view Ponderings from previous
months |
Ask Dr. Celia
I invite you to write to me to talk about your loss
experience, to express concerns you have or to ask questions.
Once a month, I will CREATE a letter from a fictitious person
based on the letters you have sent me. In turn, I will write a
response to this imaginary person's letter. After one month,
when a new letter is posted, the previous month's will be
archived. Unless you indicate that your letter is only for Dr.
Celia, your letter, with your permission, may be posted under
Letters
From Readers.
Click here to
view Created Letters and Dr. Celia's responses from previous
months
DISCLAIMER: I will not
answer individual letters. But, be assured, I will read all of
them!
Reader's Letters
With your written permission, your letter will be posted
here (subject to selection for appropriateness). The feelings
and thoughts that you are able to express may help someone
else find the right words for themselves. Be sure to note in
your letter whether to include your name, a pseudonym, or just
"anonymous." After two months, they will be archived.
Click
here to write a
letter to Dr. Celia.
Suggested Articles &
Books
You are invited to participate in recommending Articles
from sources other than this site and Books you've read that
you have found helpful. Your comments about what you liked and
found helpful about your recommendation are very welcomed. If
an article or book is extremely popular, it will be
indicated.
Suggest
an article or book
Message Board
This includes your thoughts and reactions to:
Ponderings (organized by month and number)
Posted Letters from Readers (organized by first line of
letter)
Original articles (organized by Title)
"Created letter to imaginary writer and Dr. Celia's
response (organized by month)
Comments about Suggested Articles and Books by other
readers
Initially, postings will be done manually.
When the volume of responses requires it, the MESSAGE BOARD
will be set up electronically.
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